... . It seems Mom's walker, that she had used when she had double knee replacement surgery five years ago, was broken on the top, but the legs were better than the ones on his walker. I asked what was so funny about that. He said he was stuck. Those legs wouldn't fit and now he couldn't get the one leg he had changed off and he couldn't get back to the house without his walker. Together my dad, with the bum knee ... . You have a choice about how you let life affect you. You can moan, groan, wallow in self pity and be miserable. Or, you can focus on things beyond the pain and hurt life brings, find the humor and look for the positives. That is a lesson I have learned from both my parents. If I could go back and pick my parents, I wouldn't hesitate for a minute, I'd pick them. [by Bevanne Sinclair, 2001 ...

... little girl, with her soft dark curls and her big brown eyes. I agreed. Something about this man was vaguely familiar, but I just couldn ’ t place him. We talked. He was warm, kind, and funny. I was pensive from time to time, but it was a relief to have a kindred soul to distract me from my troubles. I introduced myself, and he told me that his friends called him" Chuck" As we were ... I could. After eleven months of married hell, he had made me feel, well, normal. Now, that he has passed-on, I remember a man who gave me my first glimpse into a normal life, one where humor and kindness saved the day. Mr. Heston could have been aloof and superior, but somehow I don ’ t think that was a part of his character. Often in the tumultuous days of my bitter divorce, I would think of ...

... , from what I hear they're barely getting by as it is" Belle Ringer nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on the rest of her tables. Since I hadn't had time to round up a busboy to replace Stevie and really didn't want to replace him, the girls were bussing their own tables until we decided what to do. After the morning rush, Frannie walked into my office. She had a couple of paper napkins in her hand and a funny look on her face. What's up ?" I asked." I didn't get that table where Belle Ringer and his friends were sitting cleared off until after they left, and Pony Pete and Tony Tipper were sitting there when I got back to clean it off ," she said." This was folded and tucked under a coffee cup" She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell on my desk when I opened it. On the outside, in ...

... the societal ills we might associate with bread. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to young children) may be used to promote bread usage. A $4.2 zillion fine on the three biggest bread manufacturers. Please pass this message on to everyone you know who cares about this crucial issue. Remember: Think globally, act idiotically. [Author Unknown-from Thomas S. Ellsworth 'GCF ' (good-clean-fun @yahoogroups.com)] Inspirational Humor SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... owning nothing of value, I had no idea how we were going to start a new life for ourselves. All night the dreams were haunting and terrible. Early the next morning someone knocked on our door. When the wife answered, there stood the elderly woman. “ Is that man here who gave me the medicine ?” “ Hon, I think this is for you ,” yelled out the wife. As I walked to the front door the wife gave me a funny look. “ Young man, can you and the misses come with me ?” she asked. “ I stuck out my hands letting her know that I did not understand what she meant ” “ Can you two come with me ?” she stated again. My wife walked back into the room to see what was going on. “ Hon, she wants us to go with her ” “ Go where ?” “ Just you two never mind ,” said the woman. I looked ...

... I waited expectantly for some delayed display of sympathy." Oh ," he said," let me know when lunch is ready" I was too weak to choke him. As I fell in a heap on the front porch, I made this resolution: If I ever have a next husband, I will definitely find one that's normal-if that's even possible.~Marsha Jordan~This essay is included in Marsha Jordan's new book-along with about 200 other humorous essays. The book title is:" Hugs, Hope, and Peanut Butter"-illustrated by critically ill children. You can visit Marsha's website by clicking on the link below. [by Marsha Jordan Copyright 2006, (jordans @newnorth.net)-submitted by: Marsha Jordan] Inspirational Stories SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... living with Parkinson's for over ten years and dealt with it head on just like everything else. He seldom complained and was determined to squeeze as much out of life as possible. The treatments did not work and as a result we knew our time was running out. I have never experienced such overwhelming agony as I did seeing my Daddy suffer and wilt away. I have also never seen such courage demonstrated as I did as he bravely faced his destiny with as much humor and determination as he could muster. I will never forget the day I was spending the morning with him and he had gotten violently ill. Mom and I were sitting outside the bathroom in case he needed assistance. All of the sudden he began singing," Just A Closer Walk With Thee" That was such an inspiration to me that even though he was facing death, he still had a song in his heart. Daddy went home to heaven seven weeks to the ...

... Marines and Tampons Tampons to the rescue in Iraq !! Don't worry, it's a good story, and worth reading. It's even humorous in parts. It's from the mother of a Marine in Iraq. My son told me how wonderful the care packages we had sent them were and wanted me to tell everyone thank you. He said that one guy we'll call Marine X, got a girl care package and everyone was giving him a hard time. My son said," Marine X got some really nice smelling lotion and everyone really likes it, so every time he goes to sleep they steal it from him" I told my son I was really sorry about the mistake, and if he wanted I would send Marine X another package. He told me not to worry about Marine X because e very time I send something to him, Marine X thinks it's for him too. He said when my husband and I sent the last care ...

... a man grandma. Grandmas don't have to do anything except be there. They are old, so they shouldn't play hard or run, just garden. It's enough if they drive us to the store and have a lot of dimes ready. When they take us for walks they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars. They never say," Hurry Up" Usually grandmas are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes. They wear glasses and funny underwear. They can take their teeth out. Grandmas don't have to be smart-they only have to answer questions like." Is God married ?" and" How come dogs chase cats ?" When they read to us, they don't skip lines or mind if we ask for the same story over again. Everybody should try to have a grandma, especially if you don't have a TV. because grandmas are the only grown-ups who have the time for us !!! [Author ...

... , like marbles, rolled everywhere. I tried to use a broom, but with each swipe the peas rolled across the kitchen, bounced off the wall on the other side and rolled in another direction. My mental state at the time was fragile. Losing a spouse is an unbearable pain. I got on my hands and knees and pulled them into a pile to dispose of. I was half laughing and half crying as I collected them. I could see the humor in what happened, but it doesn ’ t take much for a person dealing with grief to break down. For the next week, every time I was in the kitchen, I would find a pea that had escaped my first cleanup. In a corner, behind a table leg, in the frays at the end of a mat, or hidden under a heater, they kept turning up. Eight months later I pulled out the refrigerator to clean, and found a ...

... that moment, I missed my old bed where I felt safe and secure. I looked at the new bed with new eyes. This bed tried to kill me and I wasn ’ t going to forget it. “ I will keep my eye on it from now on ,” I thought. My husband tried to convince me it was my silk night gown that caused all the problems, so I put it in the bag for Goodwill that very night, just to humor him. But I knew whose fault it was, Oh, I knew. My relationship with the bed never did improve but from then on, I waited for my husband to get in first before I did. I started waking with awful pains in my hands and body every morning. It got so bad that I finally went to the doctors, thinking it was arthritis in my hands, neck and back, for heaven sakes I ’ m was only 36. The ...

... it was done in elimination fashion. You kept racing as long as you were the winner. One by one the cars raced down the finely sanded ramp. Finally it was between Gilbert and the sleekest, fastest looking car there. As the last race was about to begin, my wide eyed, shy eight year old ask if they could stop the race for a minute, because he wanted to pray. The race stopped. Gilbert went to his knees clutching his funny looking block of wood between his hands. With a wrinkled brow he set to converse with his Father. He prayed in earnest for a very long minute and a half. Then he stood, smile on his face and announced, 'Okay, I am ready" As the crowd cheered, a boy named Tommy stood with his father as their car sped down the ramp. Gilbert stood with his Father within his heart and watched his block of wood wobble down the ramp with ...

... an offer that set me to thinking. He wanted to buy the old barn that sits out by the highway. I told him right off he was crazy. He was a city type, you could tell by his clothes, his car, his hands, and the way he talked. He said he was driving by and saw that beautiful barn sitting out in the tall grass and wanted to know if it was for sale. I told him he had a funny idea of beauty. Sure, it was a handsome building in its day. But then, there's been a lot of winters pass with their snow and ice and howling wind. The summer sun's beat down on that old barn till all the paint's gone, and the wood has turned silver gray. Now the old building leans a good deal, looking kind of tired. Yet, that fellow called it beautiful. That set me to thinking. I walked out to the ...

... I sat by my best friend's bedside a few years ago as a wasting cancer took him away. He kept at his table a worn Bible and a 1928 edition of the Book of Common Prayer. A shattering grief disabled his family, many of his old friends, and at least one priest. Here was an humble and very good guy, someone who apologized when he winced with pain because he thought it made his guest uncomfortable. He restrained his equanimity and good humor literally until his last conscious moment. 'I'm going to try to beat [this cancer ], ' he told me several months before he died. 'But if I don't, I'll see you on the other side ' His gift was to remind everyone around him that even though God doesn't promise us tomorrow, he does promise us eternity-filled with life and love we cannot comprehend,-and that one can, in the throes of sickness, point the rest of us toward ...

... much, but it's better than nothing. Now put on my coat and we'll walk over to your house. If we hurry, it won't be so bad" Ten minutes later, the pair arrived at the boy's house and stepped onto the porch." Can you come in with me ?" he asked." You look positively frigid. Mom always has some hot chocolate and cookies for me when I get home on days like this" The little raggedy girl felt funny going into such a fine house, but before she knew it the little boy had taken her by the hand and was dragging her through the front door. Inside, the house looked just as nice as it had from the outside. Just as the boy was taking off the ragged coat to return to the girl, his mother met them in the vestibule." Who is this ?" she asked." And just where is your coat, young man ?" The little ...

... teams. I have even come to understand the games pretty well. You might even call me a fan. I still don't want to get out there and play. I tried it once with sand volleyball and quickly recalled that there were reasons why I didn't play. My team laughed so hard every time I hit the ball that they were ill prepared to get the ball back across the net. Some even mentioned incriminating film that could easily be sent to that" funny video" show. God gives us gifts to use for His honor and glory. I'm trying to use the gifts He's given me to do just that. However, there are many times when we don't think the gifts He has given us are as special as someone else's. Because we think that what they are doing is more important, we try to do the same thing and fail miserably. If, as Christians, we are all members of one body (and ...

... sounds of a mobile-home, and my attempts to be rescued were just one more instrument in an orchestra of sounds. Georgia did eventually get worried about me and came to the rescue. She laughed with water streaming from her face as she propped the ladder back in place. “ You idiot !” she said, when I was safely on the ground. Later that evening, after several well-deserved beers, it was easy to laugh about the ordeal, but at the time humor was the furthest thing from my mind. That day reminds me that life often throws us a storm. We can ’ t let it beat us. We have to put on our rain coats, lean into the wind and trudge forward. We can beat the storm, if we work hard to stay on our feet. Of course, there will be times when the wind will blow us back a few steps, as if we were carrying a ladder, but when ...

... before! I was truly blessed to have the physical abilities that allow me to live a normal life. Here was this young man who relied on a mechanical chair to get him around and a voice simulator to communicate. He probably dreamed about doing all the things that I take for granted every day. I vowed from now on, not to take those things for granted anymore. I would be grateful to God for his blessings that could be gone tomorrow. It's funny, fifteen minutes before that happened, I was whining because my morning paper hadn't arrived on time. I'm glad I was able to help the young man, but more importantly, he was able to help me gain a new perspective on my priorities in life. [John Fern, copyright 2002 (jpfern @pro-ns.net)-from '2THEHEART '] Inspirational Stories SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... to an assisted care facility. When I walked in, her eyes danced with delight. Although she couldn ’ t remember my name, she knew who I was. I gave her the book and together we looked at it for hours. She slowly began to read the first sentences, frequently stumbling over the words, and then I would continue reading for her. Following every word, I could tell she loved Lumby, the quirkiness of its residents, and the humorous benign mayhem that unfolds. “ I ’ m glad you included the monks – they ’ re close to God ,” she said. “ Yes, they are. As we are ,” I replied. “ As we are ,” she repeated. We then talked about the courage, strength and solace we found in God as we faced the heart wrenching consequences of her disease. That was the last coherent conversation I had with my mother, and it was a day I will ...

... letters and cards to those whose eyes could no longer see the letters on a printed page. George's powerful body and tender hands were always ready to help hold, turn, pull-up or lift a patient. He was a" gopher" who made countless trips to the supply room for the" needs of the moment" George also knew when to call for help. While reading a letter to Mr. Jenkins, George noticed that the patient suddenly started to" look funny" and instantly ran to the nurse's station to summon aid. Thanks to George's swift action, we managed to reverse the effects of an impending diabetic coma. Jovial George clearly enjoyed helping others while he spread cheer and told jokes-the same jokes, over and over again, all day long, one patient at a time. We all enjoyed his presence that Christmas day. When I finally took my lunch break, I was surprised to find the cafeteria elaborately decorated for ...

... them-I always wondered-why are they so different? That day at the park as I was pushing Maddie in the swing, we heard a bunch of kids laughing. We looked over and all the kids were crowded around one of the park benches. Maddie wanted to stop swinging and go over there and see what they were laughing at. We walked over and a little boy ran up to Maddie and said," Come over here and look at this funny lady! She is dirty and smelly and she is crying !" Maddie ignored the little boy and walked over to where the woman was sitting on the bench. She looked to be about 50 years old-though she could have been very easily a lot younger. It looked like life had been very hard on her. The little boy was right, she did smell and she was all dirty. My immediate thought was to grab Maddie by the hand and take her away ...

... would be easier for me to reach it ," I said." You looked a little frustrated"" I guess you could say I was a little bent out of shape over it ," he said. I didn't know whether to laugh or not. He was crippled by something. His arms and legs were twisted terribly and his coordination to do what I would consider an easy task, lacked desperately. I have met many people with" different abilities" who use humor openly as a way to ease the difficulty some people have with dealing with them. I smiled and said," I'm glad I could help" He was an older gentlemen, thinly built, white hair and the most incredible smile. His clothing was perfectly matched, very up to date and because of his condition, a little larger than they normally should be. I believe it was more comfortable and easier to manage in a larger size. His spinal curvature was so ...

... was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses ' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town. After Joshua came David He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me. After Solomon there ...

... way for me to put life back into perspective and I came home a much wiser person. That huge beautiful creature made me understand, that despite the obstacles life puts in your way, there is always an opportunity for a new beginning. You must never give up.~Lynn Perrier~< petpntr at yahoo.com >Lynn is a Canadian writer whose life has lead her down many paths opening her mind and heart to the important things in life. With an often humorous slant, her writing will leave you with food for thought and a smile on your face especially the articles about her cats. For those of you who have lost a pet Lynn extends a welcome to visit her newly launched memorial site and explore having your own free memorial webpage here: http :// www.tributememorial.net [by: Lynn Perrier Copyright 2008 (petpntr at yahoo.com)-{ used with permission}] Inspirational Stories SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... with the hair question. He took one look at my head and asked in all sincerity that his 25 years could muster and asked," Should I put down blond or gray ?"" Blond" I told him, trying to hold onto my dignity as I reached over the desk and whispered," I'm due for a date with Clariol !" There's no denying the hands of time hold us all in their delicate grip. But I'm learning that having a sense of humor about it certainly can turn the tide from hopeless to happy. After all, age is just a number. No matter what your hair color or how many lines map a wrinkled face, you will always only be as old as you feel. And with that thought in mind I threw on my baggy sweats, slipped into my favorite slippers and headed right to the store for that much needed bottle of youth-the blond hair dye. There is comfort in time gone ...

... began it was done in elimination fashion. You kept racing as long as you were the winner. One by one the cars raced down the finely sanded ramp. Finally it was between Gilbert and the sleekest, fastest looking car there. As the last race was about to begin, my wide eyed, shy eight year old asked if they could stop the race for a minute, because he wanted to pray. The race stopped. Gilbert hit his knees clutching his funny looking block of wood between his hands. With a wrinkled brow he set to converse with his Heavenly Father. He prayed in earnest for a very long minute and a half. Then he stood, smile on his face and announced," Okay, I'm ready" As the crowd cheered, a boy named Tommy stood with his father as their car sped down the ramp. Gilbert stood with his Father within his heart and watched his block of wood wobble down the ramp ...

... used for important business or emergencies. Our predecessors had many rules and guidelines for writing letters. Some of the rules depended on the type of letter that was being written while others had to do with etiquette and courtesy. The main types of letters written were either business letters or friendly letters. Children were taught how to write letters in grade school and parents also assisted them in learning to write respectful letters using good manners. Many of the rules seem strange or even funny to us these days but the rules were carefully followed by nearly everyone. A few of the rules found in school books from the past were: Do not attempt a letter unless you have something to say. Do not use lined paper for a formal letter. Don't write on a half-sheet of paper for the sake of economy Never use fancy colored inks. A black ink that flows smoothly should be used. Rusty brown ink is offensive to the eye. Do not conduct ...

... tone of voice," why can't you just act normal ?" Normal is, of course, a relative term. In about 10 years, I will magically return to normalcy as my pubescent boy turns into an adult. At least I hope I do. In the meantime, I'm going to hang on to those severed apron strings. I may need them to strangle him.~Jackie Papandrew~2008, All Rights Reserved Jackie Papandrew is an award-winning writer, syndicated humor columnist, coffee addict and mom to a motley crew of children and pets who provide a steady stream of column ideas and dirt. She's also wife to a very patient man who had no idea, years ago when he still had time to escape, what he was getting himself into. Visit her website at: JackiePapandrew.com [by Jackie Papandrew Copyright 2008, (me @jackiepapandrew.com)-submitted by: Jackie Papandrew] Inspirational Stories SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard; they have a whole horizon" When the little boy was finished, his father was speechless. His son added," Thanks, Dad, for showing me how 'poor ' we are !" Isn't it true that it all depends on the way you look at things? If you have love, friends, family, health, good humor and a positive attitude towards life-you've got everything! You can't buy any of these things. You may have all the material possessions you can imagine, provisions for the future, etc; but if you are poor of spirit, you have nothing! Addendum-1 Timothy 6: 17 (GNB)" Command those who are rich in the things of this life not to be proud, but to place their hope, not in such an uncertain thing as riches ...

... was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly. I pointed to the dog." Can you tell me about him ?" The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement." He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow" He gestured helplessly. As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror." You mean you're going to kill him ?"" Ma'am ," he said gently," that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed ...

... beat-up Chevy he'd transport folks to church. To him it didn't matter if their bodies weren't too clean, Or if the congregation frowned, or didn't seem too keen. He never thought of weather, he'd battle rain or snow. If a need arose at midnight, he'd jump right up and go. He noticed neither color, nor culture, race, nor creed. His life was lived for others, for anyone in need. Sometimes we'd be embarrassed by the funny ways he had, But -I speak for his ten children -we're glad he was our dad.~Helen Dowd~Copyright 2006 www.occupytillicome.com [by Helen Dowd Copyright 2006, (helendowd @shaw.ca)-submitted by: Helen Dowd] Inspirational Stories SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... To say there was a certain amount of tension around the company during the period of labor negotiations is like saying there is a certain amount of tension these days around Jon and Kate. So the timing wasn't right for a new friendship to take root. But as Kurt and I interacted during the course of the weeks of negotiations, we found we could do so pleasantly, if not completely comfortably. He had a gruff exterior, but a quick and affable sense of humor, and I enjoyed the give and take of our brief conversations. At first we limited our comments to sports. That led to mention of our own respective athletic histories (his was impressive, mine was not). Which led to talk about our growing up years, which led to discussion of our families and eventually brought us full circle to the very subject we had been most steadfastly avoiding." So what brought you here to the company ?" I asked." ...

... Dallin how important it is that we not help the little chick to break free of it's shell. I told him how he needs all that time of pushing and pecking and struggling so that he would have strength enough to make it through the night. We talked about how that struggle would make him strong, like when we exercise. It was amazing to be watching this all happen as if on stage with a spotlight. I told Dallin that it was kind of funny to be watching, but the chick had no idea we were there. About that time, there was one more push, and the egg broke in two and our sweet little pink, wet chick toppled right out! It still wasn't free though. It was on its back and its little umbilical cord was still holding him to the back side of the egg. I really wanted to help that tiny, fragile baby to get rid of its entanglements. Then the thought ...

... they shut the door behind them, the storm struck with fury. Raging winds threw tree limbs across the road. The storm was so strong that the electricity went out for 2-1 / 2 hours. Escaping the storm's fury seemed like a miracle. Looking back, Dean believes the woman who warned them and then disappeared must have been an angel.~Grace Housholder~< graceh at kpcnews.net >Grace is the editor of Kidwarmers. She loves collecting short stories about the funny things kids say. Her main Web sites are: kpcnews.com. fwfamily.com. funnykids.com Please take a minute to let Grace know what you think of her story:? subject = SkyWriting.Net-Escaping The Storm "> Grace Housholder [by: Grace Housholder Copyright 2009 (graceh at kpcnews.net)-{ used with permission}] Inspirational Stories SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved. ...

... his bed. At least that's what I heard him say one night. He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped outside his closed door to listen." Are You there, God ?" he said." Where are You? Oh, I see. Under the bed." I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in. He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2 ), there are few ways in which he is an adult. He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry ...

... ," said the little boy who could not walk or run." But I have wondered what it would be like to walk and run like other boys and girls"" That is very sad" said the little boy who wanted to fly." Do you think we could be friends ?" he said to the little boy in the sandbox." Sure" said the little boy. The two little boys played for hours. They made sand castles and made really funny sounds with their mouths. Sounds which made them laugh real hard. Then the little boy's father came with a wheel chair to pick up his son. The little boy who had always wanted to fly ran over to the boy's father and whispered something into his ear." That would be okay ," said the man. The little boy who had always wanted to fly like a bird ran over to his new friend and said," You are my only friend and I ...