A Dog's Letters to God
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever,
smell one another? Where are their priorities?
When we get to Heaven, can we dogs sit on your couch?
Or is it the same old story?
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar,
the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,
but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding
around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have
its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle
the Chrysler Beagle!
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human
hears him, is he still a bad dog?
When my foster mom's friend comes over to our house,
he smells like musk! What's he been rolling around in?
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands
to get in?
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic
energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone?
I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time,
but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants
because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order?
Or is it the carpets again?
When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But,
they never bless mine. So, I've been wagging my tail extra
fast when they fill my bowl. Have you noticed MY blessing?
[ Tina Gunther (email@example.com) -- from 'Bills-Punch-Line' ]
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