Advice From Mark Twain
Get your facts first, and then you
can distort them as much as you
Be careless in your dress if
you will, but keep a tidy soul.
There are several good protections
against temptation, but the surest
Never tell the truth to people
who are not worthy of it.
We ought never to do wrong when people are looking.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
All you need to be assured of success in this life is ignorance
Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else;
this is not a piece of advice, it is merely a custom.
It's a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just
so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
Let us not be too particular:
It is better to have old secondhand
diamonds than none at all.
Do something every day that you don't
want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of
doing your duty without pain.
If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it
was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures;
simply watch for your chance and hit him with a brick.
Always acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw those in
authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to
There is no use in your walking five
miles to fish when you can depend on
being just as unsuccessful near home.
Part of the secret of success in
life is to eat what you like and
let the food fight it out inside.
It is better to keep your mouth
shut and appear stupid than to open
it and remove
with illu-sions. When
they are gone,
you may still
exist, but you
have ceased to live.
Be careful to get out of an experience all the wisdom that is in
it; not like the cat that sits down on a hot stove. She will
never sit down on a hot stove lid again...and that is well; but
also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'The Funny Bone' (email@example.com) ]
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