Alaska Living

1. Your relatives/friends think you live too far away for them to come visit you, but keep asking you to come see them more often.
   
   
2. You have ever called a 1- 800 number you found in a catalog, and then were told, "Alaska? Oh, we don't ship outside the USA."
   
   
3. You have ever put up with the pain of a toothache until the Permanent Fund checks came out in October.
   
   
4. You know going "outside" involves a lot more than opening the door and walking out into the yard.
   
   
5. You have ever worn underwear that had some- thing called a "trapdoor."
   
   
6. You have learned that in the Summer you never say to your kids, "Be home by dark!"
   
   
7. You know that a Spenard Divorce involves a .357 magnum, not a lawyer.
   
   
8. Your monthly phone bill is larger than your house payment.
   
   
9. The reason you don't own a poodle is because an eagle ate the last one
   
   
10. There is a bottle of Avon's Skin-so-Soft in your tackle box.
    
    
11. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
    
    
12. The last thing you do before going to bed is plug in your vehicle.
    
    
13. You see a car running in the parking lot, with no one in it, and two dogs in the front seat.
    
    
14. You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave them both unlocked.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]