Your relatives/friends think you live too far
away for them to come visit you, but keep
asking you to come see them more often.
You have ever called a 1- 800 number you
found in a catalog, and then were told,
"Alaska? Oh, we don't ship outside the USA."
You have ever put up with the pain of a toothache
until the Permanent Fund checks came out in
You know going "outside" involves a lot more
than opening the door and walking out into the
You have ever worn underwear that had some-
thing called a "trapdoor."
You have learned that in the Summer you never
say to your kids, "Be home by dark!"
You know that a Spenard Divorce involves a
.357 magnum, not a lawyer.
Your monthly phone bill is larger than your house
The reason you don't own a poodle is because
an eagle ate the last one
There is a bottle of Avon's Skin-so-Soft in your
You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after
they were popular.
The last thing you do before going to bed is plug
in your vehicle.
You see a car running in the parking lot, with no
one in it, and two dogs in the front seat.
You install security lights on your house and garage
and then leave them both unlocked.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
All Rights Reserved.