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Alternative Retirement Home
There will be no nursing home in MY future........
When I get old and feeble, I am going to get
on a Cruise Ship. The average cost
for a Nursing home is $200 per day. I have
checked on cruise ship reservations, and I found I
can get a long term senior discount price of $135 per day
on many cruise ships. That leaves me $65 a day for:
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Gratuities, which are only about $10 per day.
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On a cruise ship I will have as many as 10 meals per day, if I
can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have
room service (which means I can have
breakfast in bed every day of the week).
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Ships have as many as three swimming
pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers,
and shows every night.
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They also have free toothpaste and razors, and free
soap and shampoo.
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The best part on a cruise ship is: they treat you like a "customer" (a real person) --
not like most nursing home
"patients" are treated. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the
entire staff scrambling to help you.
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On top of everything else, I will get to meet new people every 7 to 14 days.
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T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need
to have the mattress replaced? No Problem!
On a ship they will fix everything and apologize for your
inconvenience.
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You also get clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't
even have to ask for them.
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If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip, you will
get only the minimum care specified by Medicare or your insurance company.
If you fall and break a hip on the
cruise ship, they will upgrade you to a fancy suite for the
rest of your life and have someone care for your every need.
Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South
America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New
Zealand, Asia, or many other places?
No problem, there are always cruise ships ready and willing to take you where ever you
would like to go. So don't look
for me in a nursing home. Just plan on calling me on "shore-to-ship" satellite telephone.
P.S. And when death comes, there are no ridiculously high funeral expenses to be paid -- they
give you a sea burial -- no extra charge.
[ Author Unknown -- from Sherry, via 'LABLaughs' (LABLaughs@LABLaughs.com) -- Ed:Anon. ]
Inspirational Humor
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