An Ounce Of Prevention

          Eggs'll give you fatty heart.
          Beef'll plug your veins.
          Booze'll make your liver hard.
          'N give you kidney pains.

          Pop'll make our teeth rot out.
          Same with sweets and gum.
          Chocolate'll give you pimples
          which makes your love life glum.

          Coffee'll make you nervous.
          Beans'll give you gas.
          Pot'll curdle up your genes
          Or cook your pancreas.

          Snoose'll rot you lower lip
          Or make your teeth fall out.
          Drink some beer? Eat rich food?
          You're sure to get the gout.

          Smokes'll cause lung cancer.
          Cheese'll constipate.
          But prunes'll make you scour some
          And make your tum gyrate.

          Saccharin'll give you tumors.
          Cyclamates'll too
          Red dye'll stain your innards
          And give you Green Gomboo.

          Salt'll boost blood pressure up.
          Pepper makes you sneeze.
          Florides freckle up your teeth,
          And knobby-up your knees

          Pork'll give trichinosis
          Which makes your muscles balk.
          Rabbit'll "tootleream" you
          Or cause your jaws to lock.

          So don't partake of nothin'
          And you won't die..... I guess.
          Everything is dangerous.
          Some more and some less.

[ Wallace McRae -- from John Traver ]


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