Bad Day In The ER

You know it's going to be a bad day in the ER when . . . .

1. You show up for work and notice bars have just been installed on all the windows and there is now a metal detector at the hospital entrance.
   
   
2. The paramedics in the parking lot are all using mops to clean up their ambulances and the EMTs are using a hose.
   
   
3. The off-going shift has a hard time keeping a straight face when giving report, especially about Room 15.
   
   
4. Your first patient of the day insists there is no way that she can be pregnant. She's crowning.
   
   
5. Your next five patients and their families all scream at you in different languages, none of which you speak.
   
   
6. Your next patient screams at you in a language you do understand, but you can't remember hearing that many obscenities strung together at once.
   
   
7. The intoxicated 250 Kg transvestite in Room 15 keeps trying to get your home phone number because you "are just too sweet."
   
   
8. The hospital's attorney wants to talk to you, but her secretary won't tell you what it's about.
   
   
9. The hospital has a surprise disaster drill. You were the only one who wasn't tipped off.
   
   
10. The psychiatric patients' delusions are beginning to make sense.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]