Bank Transactions

  1. One day a young man came up to my window at the bank and whispered, "Please deposit this hundred dollars in my savings account." I handled the transaction and whispered back, "Have a good day." He started to leave but changed his mind. "I'm sorry we have to whisper," he said, "but if my car knows I've deposited money, it'll break down again." With his finger to his lips he tiptoed out.

  2. Martin Bowen, president of the Fort Worth First City National Bank, was seen standing in front of the automatic teller in the lobby one day while it performed a transaction rather slowly. After a brief wait, Bowen was heard to say, "Come on? it's me!"

  3. The young woman who entered our bank to cash a check looked so hesitant that I went to help her. "Please sign the back of the check," I told her, "as you'd sign a letter." She looked at me gratefully, scribbled on the check and passed it to me. Signed on the back was: "Yours affectionately, Pamela.

  4. At the bank where I used to work, we tellers were constantly cautioned either to know the person who wanted to cash a cheque or to request proper identification. One time a young man, who minutes before could produce no ID, returned to my window with what he considered the perfect identification. Tucked under his arm was his high-school yearbook opened to his class picture. I cashed his cheque.

  5. The bank where I work had just installed its first 24-hour cash machine. I encouraged an elderly gentleman to take an application for the new plastic identification cards, explaining that he would be able to get cash any time of day or night. He declined, saying, "Lady, anything I'd need money for that late at night I shouldn't be doing."

  6. A friend of mine spent two weeks touring the West with a Boy Scout troop. They were in a bank cashing checks, and one boy was having trouble because he had lost his wallet. He still claimed he had identification, but he didn't want to show it. The pretty, young teller insisted, so the Scout leaned forward and whispered in her ear. She motioned for him to come behind the counter. My friend, who was tall enough to see over the counter, saw the blushing boy tug out his shirt tail, fold his belt over in back, and then pull up the label on his underwear to show his name neatly printed there. The teller cashed his check.

  7. I went to my bank to refinance a loan on my boat. Making small talk with the loan officer, I told her that she was the main reason I came to that branch. Not even looking up from her paperwork, the loan officer responded, "You don't fool me, sailor. I'll bet you have a woman in every bank."

  8. One day, an employee received an unusually large check. She decided not to say anything about it. The following week, her check was for less that the normal amount, and she confronted her boss. "How come," the supervisor inquired, "you didn't say anything when you were overpaid?" Unperturbed, the employee replied, "Well, I can overlook one mistake, but not two in a row!"
[ Author Unknown -- from Stan Kegel, via 'Buffalos Chips' ( ]

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