"British Citizenship"

As part of an effort to crack down on terrorist activity within Britain, Prime Minister Tony Blair has instituted a new series of tests that all applicants for British citizenship must pass:

• The ability to express the full range of human emotion by gentle throat clearing.
  
  
• The ability to drink a full pint of warm flat beer (non-alcoholic beer is permitted, but in this case two pints must be consumed).
  
  
• The ability to complement the cook after consuming a dinner of cold mashed potatoes, cold peas, and cold burnt meat.
  
  
• The ability to instinctively know if it's tea first or milk first.
  
  
• The ability to praise the French while clearly indicating that since 1066 they've pretty much been a bunch of losers.
  
  
• The ability to praise the Americans while clearly indicating that they got lucky that one time in the late 1700s.

And finally . . .

• The ability to utter the phrase: "British Way of Life" without cracking even the hint of a smile.
  

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Joke du Jour' (JdJ@yahoogroups.com) ]