Business 101

1. We turned this team around 360 degrees.
   
   
2. We specialize in accurate interpretation of your pathetically unclear and dismally vague description of what you think you want.
   
   
3. If we learn from our mistakes, I'm getting a fantastic education.
   
   
4. His ignorance was encyclopedic.
   
   
5. Don't hesitate to give out advice - it passes time, and nobody will notice it anyhow.
   
   
6. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
   
   
7. There is nothing as permanent as a temporary worker.
   
   
8. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.  (Consultant's creed)
   
   
9. No one is funnier than people who take themselves too seriously.
   
   
10. Love your enemies in case your business acquaintances turn out to be a bunch of bastards.
    
    
11. I've made so many lateral moves in my company, I'm beside myself.
    
    
12. There are moments when everything goes well - don't be frightened, it won't last.
    
    
13. They always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate.  I said, 'Just wait.'
    
    
14. My cup's been run over.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]