Camping Tips

  1. When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

  2. Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

  3. Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire.

  4. When smoking a fish, never inhale.

  5. A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.

  6. The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges.

  7. Steer clear of parks named for landfills.

  8. While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

  9. Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

  10. Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.

  11. You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.

  12. You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.

  13. When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.

  14. You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' ( ]

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