Cartoon Laws

Cartoon Laws Of Physics
  1. Cartoon Law I
    Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.

  2. Cartoon Law II
    Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.

  3. Cartoon Law III
    Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.

  4. Cartoon Law IV
    The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.

  5. Cartoon Law V
    All principles of gravity are negated by fear.

  6. Cartoon Law VI
    As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.

  7. Cartoon Law VII
    Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting.

  8. Cartoon Law VIII
    Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent. Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives, might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify.

    Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container.

  9. Cartoon Law IX
    Everything falls faster than an anvil.

  10. Cartoon Law X
    For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance.
  • Cartoon Law Amendment A
    A sharp object will always propel a character upward. When poked (usually in the buttocks) with a sharp object (usually a pin), a character will defy gravity by shooting straight up, with great velocity.

  • Cartoon Law Amendment B
    The laws of object permanence are nullified for "cool" characters.

  • Cartoon Law Amendment C
    Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries. They merely turn characters temporarily black and smoky.

  • Cartoon Law Amendment D
    Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large wavelengths.

  • Cartoon Law Amendment E
    Dynamite is spontaneously generated in "C-spaces" (spaces in which cartoon laws hold).
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' ( ]

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