Church Football...

• Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
  
  
• Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
  
  
• Halftime - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave
  
  
• Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
  
  
• Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
  
  
• Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.
  
  
• Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
  
  
• Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
  
  
• Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".
  
  
• Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.
  
  
• End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
  
  
• Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
  
  
• Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
  
  
• Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
  

[ Author Unknown -- from 'The Funnies' ]