Church Signs

Reported to be actual church signs....

1. Free Trip to heaven. Details inside!
   
   
2. Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
   
   
3. Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!
   
   
4. Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!   (Ouch!)
   
   
5. A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor changed the outside sign to read, "The Resurrection is postponed"
   
   
6. People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
   
   
7. God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.
   
   
8. Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!
   
   
9. When down in the mouth, remember Jonah; he came out all right!
   
   
10. Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.
    
    
11. Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily.
    
    
12. How will you spend eternity -- Smoking or Nonsmoking?
    
    
13. Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives.
    
    
14. Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
    
    
15. It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin.
    
    
16. Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
    
    
17. If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
    
    
18. Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
    
    
19. This is a CH_ _ CH What is missing?   UR
    
    
20. Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
    
    
21. In the dark? Follow the Son
    
    
22. Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up
    
    
23. If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
    
    And a more current sign is...
    
    
24. Awesome Powers -- the God who snags us!!!
    

And a quick side-dish...

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And, it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

Addendum -- Proverbs 17:22 (NRSV)   "A cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a downcast spirit dries up the bones."

[ Original source unknown -- from Ken and Cathie ]