Don't Hit The Ducks
Three golfing partners died in a car wreck
and went to heaven. Upon arrival they discover
the most beautiful golf course they have ever
seen. St. Peter tells them that they are all
welcome to play the course, but he cautions
them that there is only one rule:
Don't hit the ducks.
The men all have blank expressions, and
finally one of them asks "The ducks?"
"Yes," St. Peter replies, "There are millions
of ducks walking around the course and if
one gets hit, he squawks then the one next
to him squawks and soon they're all squawking
to beat the band, and it really breaks the
tranquility. If you hit the ducks, you'll be
punished, otherwise everything is yours to
After entering the course, the men noted that
there was indeed a gaggle of ducks everywhere.
Within fifteen minutes, one of the guys hit one
of them. The duck squawked, the one next to it
squawked and soon there was a deafening roar
of duck quacks.
St. Peter walked up with an extremely homely
woman in tow and asked "Who hit the duck?"
The one who had done it admitted "I did."
Immediately, St. Peter pulled out a pair of
handcuffs and cuffed the man's right hand to
the homely woman's left hand. "I told you not
to hit the ducks," he said.
"Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity.
The other two men were very cautious not to
hit any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one
of them accidentally did. The quacks were as
deafening as before and within minutes St. Peter
walked up with an even uglier woman than before.
St. Peter determined which one had hit the duck by
the fear in his face, and cuffed the man's right hand
to the homely woman's left hand.
"I told you not to hit the ducks," he said. "Now you'll
be handcuffed together for eternity."
The third man became extremely careful. Some days
he wouldn't even move for fear of even nudging a
duck. After three months of this, fortunately, he still hadn't hit a
duck. St. Peter walked up to the man at the end of
three months, with a knock-out
gorgeous woman -- the most beautiful woman the
man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled to the man
and then, without a word, handcuffed him to the
beautiful woman and walked off.
The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed
to this beautiful woman for eternity, let out a sigh and said:
"What have I done to deserve this?"
The woman responded: "I don't know about you,
but I hit a duck."
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Lab Laughs' (LABLaughsClean@topica.com) -- Ed:Anon. ]
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