Feline Physics

  1. Law of Cat Inertia:   A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

  2. Law of Cat Motion:   A cat will move in a straight line, unless there's a really good reason to change direction.

  3. Law of Cat Magnetism:   All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

  4. Law of Cat Thermodynamics:   Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

  5. Law of Cat Stretching:   A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

  6. Law of Cat Sleeping:   All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

  7. Law of Cat Elongation:   A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any countertop that has anything remotely interesting on it.

  8. Law of Cat Acceleration:   A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

  9. Law of Dinner Table Attendance:   Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

  10. Law of Rug Configuration:   No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

  11. Law of Obedience Resistance:   A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for it to do something.

  12. First Law of Energy Conservation:   Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

  13. Second Law of Energy Conservation:   Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

  14. Law of Refrigerator Observation:   If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

  15. Law of Electric Blanket Attraction:   Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

  16. Law of Random Comfort Seeking:   A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

  17. Law of Bag / Box Occupancy:   All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

  18. Law of Cat Embarrassment:   A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

  19. Law of Milk Consumption:   A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

  20. Law of Furniture Replacement:   A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]

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