Gene Splicing Now A Reality

It seems that gene-splicing has become a reality. Now all those old jokes about crossing a parrot with a centipede are within the realm of possibility. Here are a few examples:
  1. Cross an Indian monkey with a vine of the legume family and a plant with yellow cup-shaped flowers will give you Rhesus Peanut Buttercup.

  2. Cross a Sasquatch and a baboon. It's a Sassoon that lurks in the suburbs at night, catches unwary women and styles their hair.

  3. Cross an armadillo with a hammerhead shark and keep your fridge smelling fresh. It's an Arm & Hammerhead shark.

  4. Cross a male grouse with a female dog and you get a bird dog that's always complaining, a Grouse-and-Bitch.

  5. Cross a parrot with an alligator and when the Parrigator asks you for a cracker, you'd be well advised to give it one.

  6. Cross a sheep dog and a baby of the carp family will get you a Shag-carpette.

  7. Splice the genes of 63,360 inchworms and you get a Mile-worm.

  8. An Impossabull is what you get when you make a three-way cross between an impala, a possum and a bull. It's a 2000 lb. antelope that hangs from trees and drops down on unsuspecting matadors.

  9. Here's an interesting five-way cross. An Alaskan King Crab, a kingfisher, a jackrabbit, a jackass and a jackal gives you a Full House.

  10. Cross a rabbit with an amoeba gives you an Amoebit. It can multiply and divide at the same time.

  11. Cross a grasshopper and a hippopotamus, and you get a Grasshoppapotamus. It's a short-lived creature that can leap to tremendous heights... once.

  12. A coyote and an ass. This results in a Doncoyote. An ass that brays at windmills and tilts at the moon.

  13. Cross a lion and an ocelot and you get a political animal. It's a Lialot, close relative of the Cheetalot.

  14. Cross a racehorse with a hog and you get a Thoroughpig.

  15. Cross a sheep with a porcupine and you get a Sheepupine. It not only supplies you with wool but will also knit you a sweater.

  16. Here's one from the sixties. It travels in packs, searching for grass and other kinds of dope. Cross a male sheep, a baby sheep, an Australian wild dog and a donkey. It's Aram-alam-ading-donk.

  17. A combination of a lamprey eel and a baboon created at a famous American college gives you the Harvard Lampoon.

  18. Two very dull fish, a grouper and a porgy produces some very interesting results. A Grouporgy.

  19. A coward and a hyena gives you the laughing stock of the party, the Cowena.

  20. Cross a snake with a canary and you get a bird that sings with a lisp. A Snary.

  21. Cross a lamb with a camel to produce sweaters with bumps especially for the ladies, a Lamel.

  22. Here's one from the flora domain. Cross the aloe and baby's breath to get the ingredients for the French aphrodisiac, the Aloebaby.

  23. Cross a donkey with a Doberman and you get the Asspinscher, the dog who thinks he's a goose.

  24. Incidentally, the cross between a parrot and a centipede mentioned earlier will get you a Walkie-talkie.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' ( ]

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