Top Ways to Get Out of Jury Duty

1. Ask if you can wear an iPod during the trial.
   
   
2. Propose to the defendant. When the person says, "No," reply: "Well I know how I'll be voting."
   
   
3. Apply for a job at the court that wants to hire you as a juror.
   
   
4. Start a Conga line with the other jurors.
   
   
5. Wear 3-D glasses.
   
   
6. Mimic everything the defense lawyer does. Please note: this will not only get you excused, it will also get you a psychological evaluation.
   
   
7. Refer to the judge as Big Daddy.
   
   
8. When they use big words like, homicide, act like you need to look it up in the dictionary.
   
   
9. Show up dressed in a clown suit.
   
   
10. During the prosecution's opening statements stand up and yell, "That's enough for me, let's hang 'em."
    
    
11. Ask the judge where they keep the salad bar.
    
    
12. During the trial read a book. Every now and then look up and say, "You don't say."
    
    
13. When you go out to dinner tell the waiter, "Don't worry the judge is picking up the tab."
    
    
14. Every day come dressed as a different member of the Walt Disney family so that you'll stand out in the artist sketches.
    
    
15. Keep winking at the defense lawyer.
    
    
16. Insist that the lawyers pipe the theme music from Perry Mason into the court room before the trial starts.
    
    
17. Ask the judge if they allow cameras in the court room because you would really like to take pictures.
    
    
18. Have a pizza delivered to the witness stand.
    
    
19. Call several publishers and say you might have a book deal.
    
    
20. During deliberations use the phrase, "Eeeny, Meany, Miney, Moe."
    
    
21. When the defense lawyer starts his case stand up and yell, "I object."

[ By: Charles M. Sevilla -- {Edited} -- received from Chris Long (www.laughandlift.com) ]