Gift Wrapping With The Help Of Your Cat
- Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
- Go to closet and collect bag in which present is
contained, and shut door.
- Open door and remove cat from closet.
- Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
- Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
- Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape,
ribbons, scissors, labels, etc...
- Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table,
to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
- Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has
been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.
- Remove present from bag.
- Remove cat from bag.
- Open box to check present, remove cat from box,
- Lay out paper to determine size to cut.
- Try to smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath
and remove cat.
- Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.
- Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors,
and tore the paper.
- Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in
the bag the present came in.
- Place present on paper.
- Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why
edges don't reach. Realize cat is between present and
paper. Remove cat.
- Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing
transparent sticky tape.
- Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent
sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
- Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat
- Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order
to retrieve ribbon.
- Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
- Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn
due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase.
- Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper.
- Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and
reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old
cardboard box that is the right size for sheet of paper.
- Put present in box, and tie down with string.
- Remove sting, open box' and remove cat.
- Put all packing materials in bag with present and head
for a room with a lock.
- Once inside locking room, lock door and start to relay
out paper and materials.
- Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door,
close and relock.
- Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until
you can hear cat from outside door).
- Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in
the small area of the toilet, but do your best).
- Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out
and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet
of last year's paper. Remember that you have none left
because cat helped with this last year as well.
- Return to lockable room, lock door, sit on toilet, and
try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.
- Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully
sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate
with bows to hide worst areas.
- Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate
yourself on completing a difficult job.
- Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
- Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious
- Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
- Go to store and buy a gift bag.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (Aiken@AikensLaughs.com) ]
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