Golf Quotes

The Gospel according to St. Titleist . . .
  1. May thy ball lie in green pastures ~ and not in still waters. ~ Author Unknown

  2. The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. ~ Billy Graham

  3. Golf appeals to the idiot and the child in us. Just how childlike golfers become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ~John Updike

  4. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. ~ Robert Lynd

  5. If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~ Horace G. Hutchinson

  6. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. ~ Gardner Dickinson

  7. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. ~ Sam Snead

  8. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. ~ William Wordsworth

  9. If you drink, don't drive ~ Don't even putt. ~ Dean Martin

  10. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. ~ Tommy Bolt

  11. Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one. ~ Author Unknown

  12. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced. ~ Bob Hope

  13. My handicap? Woods and irons. ~ Chris Codiroli

  14. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top. ~ Pete Dye

  15. I'm hitting the woods just great ~ but having a terrible time getting out of them! ~ Author Unknown

  16. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon

  17. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. ~ Mark Twain

  18. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. ~ Harry Vardon

  19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ Jimmy DeMaret

  20. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. ~ George Deukmejian

  21. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. ~ Author Unknown

  22. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook! If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. ~ Author Unknown


[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' ( ]


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