* GOLFISMS *
Go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
A fourth bad shot is actually the
Beginning of the next group of three.
You will always look down again at
Exactly the moment when you ought
To start watching the ball if you ever
Want to see it again.
Or at a minimum of not at all.
It is always possible to play worse.
In your mind during your swing.
You can either hit one more club or two more balls.
While the foursome ahead of you is still putting out,
You have two options: you can immediately shank
A lay-up or you can wait until the
Green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
The more likely he is to share his ideas about
The golf swing.
Is the instant elimination of the
One critical unconscious motion
That allowed you to compensate for all of
Your many other errors.
After a perfect approach shot.
Against your opponents luck.
When he breaks a rule is like
Expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
It's not a gimme if your still away.
On a golf course is a straight
Line that passes directly through the center
Of a very large tree.
Unfair bounces and bounces just the way you
Meant to play it.
10% of the time and a two-inch branch
90% of the time.
He must subsequently make two triple
Bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
Simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
Multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap;
I.e. Backswing 20mph, handicap 15,
Downswing = 600mph.
By stopping your backswing at the top and
Checking the position of your hands:
How many hands you have, and which one
Is wearing the glove.
You can put "draw" on the ball,
You can put "fade" on the ball, but no
Golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
From 50 yards away is not yours.
And a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.
If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
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