Grandma got Addicted

Grandma got addicted to the computer,
when she opened her present, early Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Microsoft,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


When they found her Christmas mornin',
at the scene of the crime.
There were keyboard prints on her forehead,
and she was still online.


She'd been sending out some emails,
to people she didn't know.
She left her medication on the desk
and said her connection was too slow.


She looked wide eyed as she kept
typing with her hands.
We knew we had lost her
to the world, in far off lands.


Now we're all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
And playin' cards with cousin Belle.


It's not Christmas without Grandma.
She's always in the back.
If we want to talk to grandma, we
have to join her online in chat.


Now the goose isn't on the table
and no Christmas goodies in the house.
The only cookies she has made are
the ones with her mouse.


Grandma has been busy, scanning
pictures for her web page.
And we just can't help but wonder,
should we open up her gifts or let 'em age.


I've warned all my friends and neighbors,
watch out before you buy.
You could lose your grandma to the computer,
just like grandpa and I.

[ by K. Foley & L. Miller © 2000 -- from 'Arizona Humor' ]