Hospital Ranks

Staff Ranking of a Hospital ....

      • Surgeon:
        Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
        Is more productive than a train
        Is faster than a speeding bullet
        Walks on water
        Talks with God

      • Internist:
        Leaps short buildings in a single bound
        Is more powerful than a switch engine
        Is faster than a speeding BB
        Walks on water if the sea is calm
        Talks with God if special request is approved

      • General Practitioner:
        Leaps short buildings with a running
        start and favorable winds
        Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
        Can fire a speeding bullet
        Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
        Is occasionally addressed by God

      • Resident:
        Barely clears a picket fence
        Loses tug-of-war with a train
        Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting
        Swims well
        Talks with animals

      • Intern:
        Makes high skid marks on a wall when trying
        to leap buildings
        Is run over by a train
        Is not issued ammunition
        Dog paddles
        Talks to walls

      • Medical Student:
        Runs into buildings
        Recognizes a train 2 out of 3 times
        Wets himself with a water pistol
        Cannot stay afloat without a life preserver
        Mumbles to himself

      • Nurse:
        Lifts buildings and walks under them
        Kicks trains off the track
        Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and
        eats them
        Freezes water with a single glance
        The Nurse IS God !!!

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' ( ]


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