Polar bear club members walking in the snow, some wearing only swim suits, with two live polar bears.

How Cold Is It?

  • +70   Californians put on sweaters.

  • +60   Miami residents turn on the heat.

  • +50   Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.

  • +40   You can see your breath.
    Californians shiver uncontrollably.
    Minnesotans go swimming.

  • +35   Italian cars don't start.

  • +32   Water freezes.

  • +30 You plan your vacation in Australia.

  • +25   Ohio water freezes.
    Californians weep pitiably.
    Minnesotans eat ice cream.
    Canadians go swimming.

  • +20   Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
    New York City water freezes.
    Miami residents plan vacation further south.

  • +15   French cars don't start.
    Cat insists on sleeping with you.

  • +10   You need jumper cables to get the car going.

  • +05   American cars don't start.

  •     0   Alaskans put on T-shirts.

  • -10   German cars don't start.
    Eyes freeze shut when you blink.

  • -15   You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
    Arkansans stick tongues on metal objects.
    Miami residents cease to exist.

  • -20   Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.
    Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
    Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.
    Japanese cars don't start.

  • -25   Too cold to think.
    You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

  • -30   You plan a two week hot bath.
    Swedish cars don't start.

  • -40   Californians disappear.
    Minnesotans button top button.
    Canadians put on sweater.
    Your cat helps you plan your trip south.

  • -50   Congressional hot air freezes.
    Alaskans close the bathroom window.

  • -80   Hell freezes over.
    Polar bears move south.
    Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game.

  • -90   Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

  • -100 Canadian buildings turn off air conditioning.
[ Author unknown - received from Chris Long at 'Laugh & Lift' (www.laughandlift.com) - updated ]

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