How Cold Is It?

• +70   Californians put on sweaters.
  
  
• +60   Miami residents turn on the heat.
  
  
• +50   Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
  
  
• +40   You can see your breath.
  Californians shiver uncontrollably.
  Minnesotans go swimming.
  
  
• +35   Italian cars don't start.
  
  
• +32   Water freezes.
  
  
• +30 You plan your vacation in Australia.
  
  
• +25   Ohio water freezes.
  Californians weep pitiably.
  Minnesotans eat ice cream.
  Canadians go swimming.
  
  
• +20   Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
  New York City water freezes.
  Miami residents plan vacation further south.
  
  
• +15   French cars don't start.
  Cat insists on sleeping with you.
  
  
• +10   You need jumper cables to get the car going.
  
  
• +05   American cars don't start.
  
  
•     0   Alaskans put on T-shirts.
  
  
• -10   German cars don't start.
  Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
  
  
• -15   You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
  Arkansans stick tongues on metal objects.
  Miami residents cease to exist.
  
  
• -20   Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.
  Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
  Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.
  Japanese cars don't start.
  
  
• -25   Too cold to think.
  You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
  
  
• -30   You plan a two week hot bath.
  Swedish cars don't start.
  
  
• -40   Californians disappear.
  Minnesotans button top button.
  Canadians put on sweater.
  Your cat helps you plan your trip south.
  
  
• -50   Congressional hot air freezes.
  Alaskans close the bathroom window.
  
  
• -80   Hell freezes over.
  Polar bears move south.
  Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game.
  
  
• -90   Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
  
  
• -100 Canadian buildings turn off air conditioning.

[ Author unknown - received from Chris Long at 'Laugh & Lift' (www.laughandlift.com) - updated ]