How To Find Your Wife
The husband was at their appointed meeting place at the appointed time, but there was no sign of his wife. (no surprise there)
After waiting for half an hour, he started looking for her but couldn't find her in any of the stores she usually frequented.
Finally, thoroughly tired of looking for her, he approached a beautiful blonde on a mall bench. He smiled at her and said,
"Please, talk to me! Quick!"
She said, "Huh? Why?"
"Because I've been looking for my wife all over this mall and I can't find her," the man replied.
"Excuse me sir, how will talking to me help you find your wife? I have absolutely no idea what she looks like, much less where she is."
"Oh, I know you don't know where she is... It's just that I've been looking, but I can't seem to find my wife anywhere around this mall. However, I know every time I start talking to a beautiful woman, like magic, she *suddenly* appears!"