I'm a Senior Citizen
I'm a Senior Citizen
(which means I'm passed 50 - meaning....
I 'Passed' 50 at about 95 mph)
There's some things you need to know....
Soon as I remember 'em I'll tell you what they are.
I'm the Life of the Party.... even when it lasts 'till 7pm.
However, I'm Usually interested in goin' home
long before I get to where I'm goin'.
I'm Smilin' all the time,
cause I can't hear a word you're sayin'.
I'm also good at tellin' Stories....
over and over and over again!
I'm good on a trip for at least an hour,
without my BenGay, Aspirin, Antacid....
I'm even good at opening Childproof caps....
With a Hammer!
I'm for Sure aware that other people's
Grandchildren aren't as bright as mine.
Ever noticed that they're
making Adults much Younger these days?
I'm walking more..... (to the bathroom)
and enjoying it less.
I'm the first one to find that bathroom
wherever I go.
I'm Positive I did housework correctly
before the Internet.
And, I'm sure everything I can't find,
is in a secure place.
I'm a walking storeroom of facts.....
I've just misplaced the storeroom.
I'm now spending more time with my pillows
than with my spouse and
I'm awake Many Hours
before my body allows me to get up.
I'm in the *Initial* state of my Golden Years:
SS, Cd's, IRA's, AARP.
I've been wondering,
If you're only as old as you feel,
how could I still be alive since I 'passed' 50?
I'm supporting all movements now....
by eating bran, prunes, raisins and chuggin' Geritol.
I'm so cared for: long-term care,
eye care, private care, dental care, and
I'm having trouble remembering
simple words like..... duh....
I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy,
and that's just my right leg.
I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.
I'm not Grouchy,
I just don't like traffic,
waiting, enemas, politicians.....
I'm anti-everything now:
anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise,
anti-inflammatory, and just generally
antipodal. (Diametrically opposed; exactly opposite.)
I'm a Senior Citizen, and I'm told I'm having the time of my Life!
[ Submitted by: Ruthie (Sugie01@aol.com) -- from Andy Chap ]
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