Kids Takes On Life

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU:

• "Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." - Del, age 6
  
  
• "Shake your hips and hope for the best." - Camille, age 9
  
  
• "Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs ... and don't worry if their parents are right there." - Manuel, age 8
  
  
• "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." - Alonzo, age 9
  
  
• "One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." - Bart, age 9

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?

• "Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." - Bobby, age 9
  
  
• "Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold ... Other people care more about the food." - Bart, age 9
  
  
• "Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up." - Sarah, age 9
  
  
• "See if the man has lipstick on his face." - Sandra, age 7
  
  
• "It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are --- on fire." - Christine, age 9

TITLES OF THE LOVE BALLADS YOU CAN SING TO YOUR BELOVED:

• "'How Do I Love Thee When You're Always Picking Your Nose?'" - Arnold, age 10
  
  
• "'You Are My Darling Even Though You Also Know My Sister.'" - Larry, age 8
  
  
• "'I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!'" - Eddie, age 6
  
  
• "'I Am in Love with You Most of the Time, but Don't Bother Me When I'm with My Friends.'" - Bob, age 9
  
  
• "'Hey, Baby, I Don't like Girls but I'm Willing to Forget You Are One!'"
  
  
• - Will, age 7
  
  
• "'Honey, I Got Your Curly Hair and Your Nintendo on My Mind.'" - Sharon, age 9

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU"

• "The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." - Michelle, age 9
  
  
• "Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they finally got it out and said it and now they can go eat." - Dick, age 7

HOW WAS KISSING INVENTED?

• "I know one reason that kissing was created. It makes you feel warm all over, and they didn't always have electric heat or fireplaces or even stoves in their houses." - Gina, age 8

HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS:

• "You can have a big rehearsal with your Barbie and Ken dolls." - Julia, age 7
  
  
• "You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." - Brian, age 7
  
  
• "It might help to watch soap operas all day." - Carin, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

• "When they're rich." - Pam, age 7
  
  
• "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you ... That's why I stopped doing it." - Tammy, age 10
  
  
• "If it's your mother, you can kiss her any time. But if it's a new person, you have to ask permission." - Roger, age 6
  
  
• "I look at kissing like this: Kissing is fine if you like it, but it's a free country and nobody should be forced to do it." - Bart, age 9

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE:

• "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." - Dick, age 7
  
  
• "Don't forget your wife's name - That will mess up the love." - Erin,age 8
  
  
• "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." - Dave, age 8
  
  
• "Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind ... Love isn't like picking what movie you want to watch." - Natalie, age 9

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (AIKENSLongJoke@topica.com) ]