Label Instructions

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

1. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
   
   
2. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
   
   
3. On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....)
   
   
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.)
   
   
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
   
   
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
   
   
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?)
   
   
8. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
   
   
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (...I'm taking this because???....)
   
   
10. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)
    
    
11. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
    
    
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
    
    
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: say what?)
    
    
14. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
    
    
15. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)....

[ Author Unknown -- from Ross, via 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]