Laws of Parenting
Sir Isaac Newton may have discovered the laws of gravity,
but here's a parallel set of laws that govern moms and dads.
- A child's behavior will improve in proportion to the distance
he or she is away from the parent.
- Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes
of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.
- The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly
to the distance the friend lives from your house.
- A child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely
proportionate to the parent's enjoyment.
- The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly
proportional to the size of the mess in your home.
- A child will always eat exactly what he or she has loved for the past
year -- unless it is the only food in the fridge.
- The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word
increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (Aiken@AikensLaughs.com) ]
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