Maturity Is Under Attack!
Have you ever noticed that when you're over the hill, everything seems uphill
from where you are?? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier. And
everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and was
dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become. And that's not all.
People are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in
whispers all the time, and if you ask them to speak up, they just repeat
themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in
the face and exhausted. What do they think I am, a lip reader??
Goodness sakes, they are so much younger than they used to be when I was
their age! On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am.
I ran into an old classmate the other day, and she has aged so much that she
didn't even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was
combing my hair this morning, and I glanced at my own reflection in the
mirror. . . REALLY NOW . . . they don't even make mirrors like they used to!
And everyone drives so fast today . . . you're risking life and limb if you
happen to pull onto the highway in front of them. All I can say is, their
brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in
my rearview mirror.
Even clothing manufacturers are becoming less civilized these days. Why else
would they suddenly start labeling a size 6 dress as a 12? Do they think no
one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs,
and bosom? And too, the fabric in dresses and slacks is so skimpy these days,
(especially around the hips and waist), that it's almost impossible to reach
my shoelaces! The sizes just don't run the way they used to. The people who
make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they
think I actually believe the number I see on that dial??? HA!! I would never
let myself weigh that much!
Just who do these people think they're fooling?? I'd like to call up someone
in authority to report what's going on . . but the telephone company is in on
the conspiracy too. They've printed the phone books in such small type that
no one could ever find a number in there! All I can do is pass along this
MATURITY IS UNDER ATTACK!
[ Author Unknown -- from 'andychaps_the-funnies' ]
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