- Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs
slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for
our newly acquired mustache.
- Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't
bounce back. It's more like splat!
- Midlife is when you go to the doctor and you
realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to
look at you naked.
- Midlife is when you go for a mammogram and you
realize it is the only time someone will ask you to
appear topless in a film.
- Midlife brings the wisdom that life throws you
curves and that you're now sitting on your biggest
- Midlife can bring out your angry, bitter side. You
look at your latte-swilling, beeper-wearing
know-it-all teenager and think, "For this I have
- Midlife is when your memory really starts to go:
the only thing you still retain is water.
- The good news about midlife is that the glass is
still half-full. Of course, the bad news is that it
won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.
- You know you've crossed the midlife threshold when
you're in the grocery store and you hear a Muzak
version of "Stairway to Heaven" in the produce
- Midlife is when your 1970's Body-by-Jake now
includes Legs-by-Rand McNally (more red and blue lines
than an accurately scaled map of the state of Wisconsin).
- You become more reflective in midlife. You start
pondering the "big" questions: what is life, why am I
here and how much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat
before it's no longer a healthy choice.
[ Thelly (email@example.com) -- (firstname.lastname@example.org) ]
All Rights Reserved.