Midwestern Ways

1. If You Grew Up in the Midwest, then . . .
   
   
2. You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.
   
   
3. You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
   
   
4. You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance.
   
   
5. You know the difference between 'Green' and 'Red' farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
   
   
6. You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.
   
   
7. You spent more on beer and liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
   
   
8. You hear someone use the word 'uff-da' and you don't break into uncontrollable laughter.
   
   
9. You or someone you know was a 'Dairy Princess' at the county fair.
   
   
10. You know that 'combine' is a noun.
    
    
11. You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.
    
    
12. You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
    
    
13. You know that 'creek' rhymes with 'pick'.
    
    
14. Football schedules, hunting season, and harvest, are all taken into
    
    
15. consideration before wedding dates are set.
    
    
16. A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.
    
    
17. There was at least one, if not several, in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning.
    
    
18. You have driven your car on the lake.
    
    
19. Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.
    
    
20. Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
    
    
21. The local gas station sells live bait.
    
    
22. At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
    
    
23. You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.
    
    
24. You actually understand these jokes...
    
    
25. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]