Military Words Of Wisdom

1. "Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
   
   
2. "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. - U.S. Marine Corps
   
   
3. "Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are Guaranteed to always hit the ground." - USAF Ammo Troop
   
   
4. "If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
   
   
5. "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just Bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual
   
   
6. "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never Encountered automatic weapons." - General MaCarthur
   
   
7. "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal
   
   
8. "You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
   
   
9. "Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance
   
   
10. "Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
    
    
11. "Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever Volunteer To do anything." - U.S. Navy Swabbie
    
    
12. "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - David Hackworth
    
    
13. "If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal
    
    
14. "No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay
    
    
15. "Any ship can be a minesweeper ... Once." - Anonymous
    
    
16. "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Marine Recruit
    
    
17. "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies
    
    
18. "If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - USAF Ammo Troop
    
    
19. "Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." - At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan
    
    
20. "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
    
    
21. "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
    
    
22. "Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than Submarines in the sky." - From an old carrier sailor
    
    
23. "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a Helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
    
    
24. "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough Power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
    
    
25. "Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying Club."
    
    
26. "What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... The pilot Dies."
    
    
27. "Never trade luck for skill."
    
    
28. "Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
    
    
29. "A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a Row Is prevarication."
    
    
30. "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
    
    
31. "Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the Purpose of storing dead batteries."
    
    
32. "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a Person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about It."
    
    
33. Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems Inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the Vicinity As slow and gently as possible."
    
    
34. "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely Kill You." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
    
    
35. "A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to Its Maximum." - Jon McBride, astronaut
    
    
36. "Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
    
    
37. "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
    
    
38. Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go Near The edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."

[ Author Unknown -- from Steven, via 'Buffalos Chips' (bufalos-g-jokes@yahoogroups.com) ]