Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?
A: A tattoo.
Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit?
A: "The Defendant"
Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.
Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?
A: It saves time in the long run.
Q: What's the difference between a guitar player and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: What's the difference between a jet airplane and a drummer?
A: About three decibels.
Q: What's the latest crime wave in New York City?
A: Drive-by trombone solos.
Q: What's the definition of a minor second interval?
A: Two Soprano Sax players reading off the same part.
Q: What is another term for trombone?
A: A wind driven, manually operated, pitch approximator.
Q: How do you get an oboist to play A flat?
A: Take the batteries out of his electronic tuner.
Q: What is the dynamic range of a bass trombone?
A: On or off.
Q: What's the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist?
A: A bad oboist can kill you.
Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in the handicapped zones.
Q: Why do people play trombone?
A: Because they can't move their fingers and read music at the same
Q: What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords?
A: A music critic.
Q: How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
A: Put it in a viola case.
Q: What will you never say about a banjo player?
A: That's the banjo player's Porsche.
Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Q: Why are harps like elderly parents?
A: Both are unforgiving and hard to get into and out of cars.
Q: How many trumpet players does it take to pave a driveway?
A: Seven- if you lay them out correctly.
Q: What's the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?
A: You can hit a baseball further with a bassoon.
Q: How are a banjo player and a blind javelin thrower alike?
A: Both command immediate attention and alarm, and force
everyone to move out of range.
[ Author Unknown -- from Aiken Drum (Aiken@AikensLaughs.com) ]
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