Newspaper Headlines

60 Actual Newspaper Headlines, Collected by Journalists
  1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

  2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

  3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

  4. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

  5. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

  6. Farmer Bill Dies In House

  7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

  8. Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?

  9. Stud Tires Out

  10. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

  11. Panda Mating Fails: Veterinarian Takes Over

  12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again

  13. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands

  14. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms

  15. Eye Drops Off Shelf

  16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

  17. Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

  18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

  19. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

  20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

  21. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told

  22. Miners Refuse to Work After Death

  23. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant

  24. Stolen Painting Found By Tree

  25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

  26. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

  27. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years

  28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One

  29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84

  30. War Dims Hope For Peace

  31. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

  32. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

  33. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

  34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

  35. Deer Kill 17,000

  36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

  37. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

  38. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

  39. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

  40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

  41. Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Needy

  42. Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire

  43. British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply

  44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

  45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

  46. Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

  47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

  48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

  49. Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing

  50. Police Discovered Pot Plants Were Really Cannabis

  51. Headless Body Found In Topless Bar

  52. Air Head Fired

  53. Steals Clock, Faces Time

  54. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

  55. Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni

  56. Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board

  57. Hospitals are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors

  58. Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction

  59. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

  60. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (AIKENSLongJoke@topica.com) ]

Email Friend     Back     Print Page

Inspirational Humor     SkyWriting.Net     All Rights Reserved.