On Marriage

1. "Some marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning storms."
   
   
2. "Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you'd be surprised at the number that re-enlist." - James Garner
   
   
3. "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards." - Benjamin Franklin
   
   
4. "Don't assume that every sad-eyed woman has loved and lost - she may have got him."
   
   
5. "A man usually falls in love with a woman who asks the kinds of questions he can answer." - Ronald Colman
   
   
6. "Before marriage the three little words are 'I love you', after marriage they are, 'let's eat out'."
   
   
7. "By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philospher." - Socrates
   
   
8. "A diplomatic husband said to his wife, 'How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?' "
   
   
9. "It takes a smart spouse to have the last word and not use it."
   
   
10. "The honeymoon is over when he phones to say he'll be late for supper and she's already left a note that it's in the refrigerator." - Bill Lawrence
    
    
11. "The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because she knows that the average man can see much better than he can think." - Ladies Home Journal
    
    
12. "A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband." - Michel de Montaingne
    
    
13. "Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse." - Arthur Baer
    
    
14. "Marriage is a great institution - but I'm not ready for an institution yet." - Mae West
    
    
15. "When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Sacha Guitry
    
    
16. "You have only to mumble a few words in church to get married and a few words in your sleep to get divorced."
    
    
17. "If there is any realistic deterrent to marriage, it's the fact that you can't afford divorce." - Jack Nicholson
    
    
18. "The person who marries for money usually earns every penny of it."
    
    
19. "The most difficult years of marriage are those following the wedding."
    
    
20. "A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one." - Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
    
    
21. "Marriage is like twirling a baton, handsprings, or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy till you try it."
    
    
22. "If men acted after marriage as they do during courtship, there would be fewer divorces - and more bankruptcies." - Frances Rodman
    
    
23. "Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke."
    
    
24. "Many husbands go broke on the money their wives save on sales."
    
    
25. "There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage."
    
    
26. "In Hollywood all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems." - Shelley Winters
    
    
27. "No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a higher opinion of him than he deserves." - Edgar Watson Howe
    
    
28. "The only real argument for marriage is that it remains the best method for getting acquainted." - Heywood Broun
    

[ Author Unknown -- from Leon Taylor, via 'GCFL' (gcfl@gcfl.net) ]