Signs You're Overdoing Thanksgiving ...

  1. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.

  2. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet. tall.

  3. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the. earth's axis.

  4. You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses.

  5. Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.

  6. Your after dinner moans are loud enough to signal Dr. Kevorkian.

  7. The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' jon boat!

  8. The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.

  9. Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go around your waist.

  10. You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.

  11. You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.

  12. Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

  13. You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.

  14. That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.

  15. Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your water bed.

  16. Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

  17. You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty.

  18. It looks like the left-overs are gonna last until Christmas.

  19. Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this.

  20. A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000."

[ Author Unknown -- from Keith Todd ( ]


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