A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted.
St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's
name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter
closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I'm sorry, I
don't see your name written in the Book."
"How current is your copy?" he asks.
"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies,
"why do you ask?"
"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn
type. It was not until my death was immanent that I cried
out to God, so my name probably hasn't arrived to your
"I'm glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we're waiting
for the update to come through, can tell me about a really
good deed that you did in your life?"
The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Humm, well there was
this one time when I was drivin' down a road and I saw a giant
group of biker gang members harassing this poor girl. I slowed
down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of 'em
torturing this poor woman. Infuriated, I got out my car,
grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the
leader of the gang. He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds,
with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his
nose to his ears. As I walked up to the leader, the bikers
formed a circle around me and told me to get lost or I'd be
next. So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and
smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I
turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave
this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of
SICK, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach
you a lesson in PAIN!'"
St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"
"About three minutes ago."
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (Aiken@AikensLaughs.com) ]
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