Pilots - On The Radio
Heard on the radio . . . .
SR-71 Pilots - I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day
as Walt (my backseater) and I were screaming across Southern
California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio
transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles
airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our
movement across their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of
its groundspeed. "90 knots" Center replied. Moments later, a Twin
Beech requested the same. "120 knots," Center answered. We weren't
the only ones proud of our groundspeed that day as almost instantly
an F-15 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests
groundspeed readout." There was a slight pause, then the response,
"525 knots on the ground, Dusty." Another silent pause. As I was
thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar
click of a radio transmission coming from my backseater. It was at
that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew,
for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a
groundspeed readout for us?" There was a longer than normal
pause.... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots." No further groundspeed inquiries were
heard on that frequency.
In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving
a request for clearance to FL 600 (60,000ft.) The incredulous
controller, with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan
to get up to 60,000 feet? The pilot (obviously a sled driver),
responded, " We don't plan to go up to it, we plan to come down to
it..." He was cleared...
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority
landing, because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit
peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was
number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the
fighter pilot remarked, "one of those dreaded seven-engine
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was
your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff".
Taxiing down the tarmac, the DC10 abruptly stopped, turned around
and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took
off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What,
exactly, was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he
heard in the engine...." explained the flight attendant. "It took us
a while to find a new pilot."
"American 241, for noise abatement, turn right 45 Degrees." "Center, we
are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have
you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"
[ Author Unknown -- from Patricia, via 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
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