Pinewood Church Dinner

A group of country friends from the Pinewood Church decided to get together on a regular basis to socialize, play games, and fellowship with one another.

Once a month group members would take turns preparing dinner and hosting the group. When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet decided she wanted to prepare a fancy dinner.

She decided to serve mushroom-smothered steaks for dinner. However, when she went to town to buy the mushrooms she found out that good quality mushrooms were way too expensive. So, she told her husband, “No mushrooms – for that large of group the cost would be too much.” He said, “Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty along the creek bed.” She said, “No, ‘cuz wild mushrooms can be poisonous.”

Well, he said, “I see varmints eating them and they're okay.” So Janet decided to give ‘em a try. She picked a bunch, took them back up to the house, cleaned and cut them up, and included them in a mushroom gravy she made – for her fancy mushroom covered steaks.

To make sure the wild mushrooms were safe to eat, Janet decided to give Ol’ spot (the yard dog) a bowl of the mushroom gravy. The dog loved the wild mushrooms, and he appeared to be fine all day long.

Reassured, Janet went ahead and served the steaks with her homemade wild mushroom gravy. All the guests enjoyed the dinner and raved about how good the mushroom covered steaks tasted. Janet was pleased and felt good about all the money she saved by using the wild mushrooms. So she could be part of the group fun, Janet had hired a 17-year-old neighbor girl too clean-up after dinner and do the dishes.

After everyone had finished eating they all moved to the living room, where they sat around and relaxed, sang songs and socialized. All of a sudden, the neighbor girl rushed up to Janet and said: “Mrs. Williams, Ol’ Spot just died.”

Janet panicked, but managed to calm down enough to call the family doctor and tell him what had happened. The doctor said, “That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I’ll call for an ambulance and I will be there as soon as possible. I'll give everyone enemas and I will pump-out every ones stomach. Since it has only been a short time, hopefully, everyone will be okay.”

“Just keep them calm… don’t panic.”

Soon they heard the siren as the ambulance was coming up the road. The EMTs and the doctor carried in their medical cases and a stomach pump.

One by one, they took each guest into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, “Done! Everyone should be fine now, I hope - and he left”

Afterwards, all the guests were looking exhausted as they sat around the living room. Just then, the 17-year-old neighbor girl came into the living room and handed Janet a slip of paper. “Mrs. Jones,” she said, “I've finished cleaning-up and here's the license number of the car that ran over Ol’ Spot.”

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Scream of the Crop' ( ]

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