Political Correctness For Kids

  • Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."

  • Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

  • You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

  • No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."

  • You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

  • You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

  • It's not called gossip anymore. It is "transmission of near-factual information."

  • The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

  • Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

  • You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."

  • You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

  • You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

  • You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Aiken Drum' (Aiken@AikensLaughs.com) ]


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