Redneck Wheelchair User

You may be a redneck wheelchair user if:

1. Any part of your chair is painted camo.
   
   
2. You have a wheelchair up on blocks in your front yard.
   
   
3. You use deck plating, steel mesh, or motorcycle parts as decoration.
   
   
4. You rigged up a beer cooler powered off your chair batteries. Double points if you don't care that it sucks your batteries dry so long as the beer stays cold.
   
   
5. You wear cowboy, biker, or work boots , even though they are a bitch to put on and you can't walk anyway.
   
   
6. You adjusted your headrest so it'll stop knocking off your hat.
   
   
7. You installed a gun rack on back.
   
   
8. Your joystick is a billiard ball, car stick shift knob, beer tap, or similar.
   
   
9. You ever thought about jacking your chair up 2 or 3 feet.
   
   
10. You have huge knobby mud tires installed.
    
    
11. You installed a sound system so your chair will sound like a truck or hog
    
    
12. You installed a whip antenna just so you could fly the stars and bars!
    
    
13. There is a 'Harley' decal or emblem permanently attached to your chair.
    
    
14. You installed a CB behind or under your chair.
    
    
15. You replaced your seat with a BarcoLounger.
    
    
16. You found the above BarcoLounger at the side of the road.
    
    
17. You named your chair 'Bubba', 'Junior', 'Daisy', or 'Killer'.
    
    
18. There is some part of a deer decorating any part of your chair.
    
    
19. You have ever thought about smuggling moonshine in the tubing or battery compartment of the chair.
    
    
20. You, while in your chair, ever made any roadkill.
    
    
21. The accessories hangin' on the chair weigh more than the chair does.
    
    
22. You browse truck catalogs looking for ways to soup up your chair.
    
    
23. You want to add a side-car or a 'sweet little trailer'.
    
    
24. You wear a 4 pound belt buckle that cuts into your stomach as you sit.
    
    
25. The fringe of your jacket or strings of your bolo tie have ever got caught in your wheels - but you wear it anyway.
    
    
26. You regularly call up Harley Davidson and ask when they are going to start making wheelchairs.
    
    
27. You have spent more than an hour trying to figure out how to hang fuzzy dice from your chair.
    
    
28. You have transported livestock in your chair. Bonus points if the livestock was bigger or heavier than you!
    
    
29. You thought about, even for a second, trying to outrun a highway patrol cruiser while in your chair.
    
    
30. Duct tape plays a major role in your repair and maintenance plan.
    
    
31. You really don't need a wheelchair in the first place, but you thought it might help pick up chicks.
    
    
32. You read this list and found yourself thinking, at any point, "now that's a good idea!"

[ by: Mark Adkins & Robert Fox -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]