Bottle of White-Out with a hand making a correction.

Resume Mistakes

How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:
  • "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

  • "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."

  • "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

  • "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

  • "I am a rabid typist."

  • "Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."

  • "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."

  • "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

  • "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."

  • "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."

  • "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."

  • "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

  • "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."

  • "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

  • "I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant."

  • "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemanil."

  • "Qualifications: No education or experience."

  • "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

  • "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

  • "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

  • Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' ( ]

Email Friend.     - More Humor -     Print Page.

Inspirational Humor     SkyWriting.Net     All Rights Reserved.