Sailing Terms

1. Amidships - condition of being surrounded by boats.
   
   
2. Anchor - a device designed to bring up mud samples from the bottom at inopportune or unexpected times.
   
   
3. Anchor Light - a small light used to discharge the battery before daylight.
   
   
4. Bare Boat - Clothing Optional.
   
   
5. Beam Sea - A situation in which waves strike a boat from the side, causing it to roll unpleasantly. This is one of the four directions from which wave action tends to produce extreme physical discomfort. The other three are `bow sea' (waves striking from the front), `following sea' (waves striking from the rear), and `quarter sea' (waves striking from any other direction).
   
   
6. Berth - a little addition to the crew.
   
   
7. Boat ownership - Standing fully-clothed under a cold shower, tearing up 100-dollar bills.
   
   
8. Boom - sometimes the result of a surprise jibe. Called boom for the sound that's made when it hits crew in the head on its way across the boat. For slow crew, it's called `boom, boom.'
   
   
9. Bottom Paint - what you get when the cockpit seats are freshly painted.
   
   
10. Calm - Sea condition characterized by the simultaneous disappearance of the wind and the last cold beverage.
    
    
11. Chart - a type of map which tells you exactly where you are aground.
    
    
12. Clew - an indication from the skipper as to what he might do next.
    
    
13. Companionway - a double berth.
    
    
14. Course - The direction in which a skipper wishes to steer his boat and from which the wind is blowing. Also, the language that results by not being able to.
    
    
15. Cruising - Fixing your boat in exotic locations.
    
    
16. Crew - Heavy, stationary objects used on shipboard to hold down charts, anchor cushions in place and dampen sudden movements of the boom.
    
    
17. Current - Tidal flow that carries a boat away from its desire destination, or towards a hazard.
    
    
18. Dead Reckoning - a course leading directly to a reef.
    
    
19. Deadrise - getting up to check the anchor at 0300.
    
    
20. Deviation - any departure from the Captain's orders.
    
    
21. Dinghy - the sound of the ship's bell.
    
    
22. Displacement - when you dock your boat and can't find it later.
    
    
23. Estimated Position - a place you have marked on the chart where you are sure you are not.
    
    
24. First Mate - crew member necessary for skippers to practice shouting instructions to.
    
    
25. Flashlight - Tubular metal container used on shipboard for storing dead batteries prior to their disposal.
    
    
26. Fluke - The portion of an anchor that digs securely into the bottom, holding the boat in place; also, any occasion when this occurs on the first try.
    
    
27. Foul Wind - breeze produced by flying turkey.
    
    
28. Freeboard - food and liquor supplied by the owner.
    
    
29. Gybe - A common way to get unruly guests off your boat.
    
    
30. Headway - what you are making if you can't get the toilet to work.
    
    
31. Head up - Leaving the boat toilet seat up. When boat skipper is female, leaving the head up is a serious offense.
    
    
32. Heave-Ho - what you do when you've eaten too much Ho.
    
    
33. Jack Lines - `Hey baby, want to go sailing?'
    
    
34. Jibe - either you like it or you don't and it gets you.
    
    
35. Keel - term used by 1st mate after too much heel by skipper.
    
    
36. Ketch - A sailboat with good wine in the cabin.
    
    
37. Landlubber - anyone on board who wishes he were not.
    
    
38. Latitude - the number of degrees off course allowed a guest.
    
    
39. Mast - religious ritual used before setting sail.
    
    
40. Mizzen - an object you can't find.
    
    
41. Motor Sailer - A sailboat that alternates between sail/rigging problems and engine problems, and with some booze in the cabin.
    
    
42. Noserly - What to call the wind direction when it comes from where you're going.
    
    
43. Ram - an intricate docking maneuver sometimes used by experienced skippers.
    
    
44. Rhumb Line - two or more crew members waiting for a drink.
    
    
45. Sailing - The fine art of getting wet and becoming ill, while going nowhere slowly at great expense.
    
    
46. Schooner - A sailboat with a fully stocked liquor cabinet in the cabin.
    
    
47. Sheet - cool, damp, salty night covering.
    
    
48. Shroud - equipment used in connection with a wake.
    
    
49. Starboard - special board used by skippers for navigation (usually with "Port" on the opposite side.)
    
    
50. Swell - a wave that's just great.
    
    
51. Square Rigger - a rigger over 30.
    
    
52. Sloop - A sailboat with beer and/or wine in the cabin.
    
    
53. Tack - A maneuver the skipper uses when telling the crew what they did wrong without getting them mad.
    
    
54. Yawl - A sailboat from Texas, with some good bourbon stored down yonder in the cabin
    
    
55. Zephyr - Warm, pleasant breeze. Named after the mythical Greek god of wishful thinking, false hopes, and unreliable forecasts.

[ Author Unknown -- WestPac, from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]