Scientists - Nursery Rhymes
If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes, How many could you solve? (Answers below).
A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologic
protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement
of a sample of fluid hydrate of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact
size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitantly
descended, sustaining severe fractural damage to the upper cranial
portion of his anatomical structure. Subsequently, the second member
of the team performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the
direction taken by the first member.
Complications arose during an investigation of dietary influence:
one researcher was unable to assimilate adipose tissue and another
was unable to consume tissue consisting chiefly of muscle fiber. By
reciprocal arrangement between the two researchers, total consumption
of the viands under consideration was achieved, thus leaving the
original container of the viands devoid of contents.
A young male human was situated near the intersection of two
supporting structural elements at right angles to each other: said
subject was involved in ingesting a saccharine composition prepared
in conjunction with the ritual observance of an annual fixed-day
religious festival. Insertion into the saccharine composition of the
opposable digit of his forelimb was followed by removal of a drupe of
genus prune. Subsequently the subject made a declarative statement
regarding the high quality of his character as a young male human.
A triumvirate of murine rodents totally devoid of ophthalmic
acuity were observed in a state of rapid locomotion in pursuit of an
agriculturalist's marital adjunct. Said adjunct then performed triple
caudectomy utilizing an acutely honed bladed instrument generally
used for the subdivision of edible tissue.
A female of the species homo sapiens was the possessor of a small
immature ruminant of the genus ovis, the outer most covering of which
reflected all wavelengths of visible light with a luminosity equal to
that mass of naturally occurring microscopically crystalline water.
Regardless of the translational pathway chosen by the homo sapien,
the probability was 1 that the aforementioned ruminant would select
the same pathway.
A human female, extremely captious and given to opposed behavior,
was questioned as to the dynamic state of her cultivated tract of
land used for production of various types of flora. The tract
components were enumerated as argentous tone-producing agents, a rare
species of oceanic growth and pulchritudinous young females situated
in a linear orientation.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no lean.
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean.
Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner
Eating his Christmas pie
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a plum
And said "What a good boy am I!"
Three blind mice, three blind mice
See how they run, see how they run.
They all ran after the farmer's wife
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife
Did you ever see such a sight in your life
As three blind mice.
Mary had a Little Lamb
Whose fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go.
Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells, and cockle shells
And pretty maidens, all in a row.
[ Author Unknown -- Stan Kegel, via 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
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