Short Funny Questions

1. How do you know if you are out of invisible ink?
   
   
2. Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
   
   
3. Why is there no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburgers, and neither apple nor pine in pinapple?
   
   
4. Why is a slim chance the same as a fat chance?
   
   
5. Why are quite a few the same as quite a lot?
   
   
6. Why does my alarm clock go off when it goes on?
   
   
7. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
   
   
8. Why isn't phonetics spelled the way it sounds?
   
   
9. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
   
   
10. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
    
    
11. If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
    
    
12. If nothing sticks to teflon, how do they get teflon to stick to the pan?
    
    
13. How can there be "self-help" groups?
    
    
14. If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
    
    
15. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themself, is it considered a hostage situation?
    
    
16. Instead of of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them, would they still grow, but only be troubled and insecure?
    
    
17. Is there another word for synonym?
    
    
18. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do, "practice"?
    
    
19. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
    
    
20. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
    
    
21. When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
    
    
22. Just "before" someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
    
    
23. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at the carpet?

[ Author Unknown -- received from Chris Long (www.laughandlift.com) ]