If there are to be two or more passengers when traveling by
automobile, one must call out "shotgun" in order to secure for
him/herself the right-front passenger seat. This seat is obviously
the most desirable. It offers such advantages as:
Historically, the shotgun position originated during the days of the
horse-drawn wagon. Since the driver had to handle the reins, another
person with a shotgun was needed next to him/her to fend off attacks
from bandits, outlaws, and galloping Amway salesmen.
more leg room
own personal vanity mirror
ease of egress and ingress
air-bag safety feature
better aim for throwing beer bottles at stop signs
rapid exit in case of beer-retainment reversal
Even if the other passenger is your grandmother with a broken
leg, if she does not call "shotgun" first, her butt is going into
the back seat.
If two people call "shotgun" at the same time, a fistfight will
determine the ultimate winner, unless the contestants are girls. In
that case, the trip is put off while the men get to watch them
fight. A "pout-off" can be held instead.
If the trip is interrupted for over 4 minutes (for fuel or potty
stops, etc.), the "shotgun" passenger loses all of his/her rights,
and open season on the coveted position begins again.
A "shotgun" winner must expect and be willing to put up with a
large portion of physical harassment from the backseat "shotgun"
loser. Scratching, hair pulling, and attempts at strangulation are
all fully legal and come with the territory.
Pre-"shotgun" calling is strictly prohibited and punishable by
worse than what you get for pulling the tag off a mattress.
A "shotgun" call from a 265-pound linebacker automatically
cancels out a "shotgun" call from anybody else.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
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