Tax Tips - Humor
Always put staples in the right hand corner. For that matter, go ahead and put them on the
entire right side of the page. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes
have to take out any staples in the right side.
Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right
way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove
all your staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left
Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before
you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and
the extractor has to open it by hand.
If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or three
On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars you owe
in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount,
he has to take it to a special desk and fill out a few nasty forms.
Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read
and stamped regardless of what it is or what its on.
Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the
back of a Kroger sack.
When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single
EZi form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than
regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that
they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal
with your mess.
If you send two checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to
your half destroyed form.
Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the
like have to be removed and put away.
Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and
then date stamped.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the
tax man. These methods are only recommended when you OWE money.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' (buffalos-g-jokes.yahoogroups.com) ]
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