Thanks, Before and After

I never intended to tell you anything about this, but since I became an adult I discovered that the meaning of Thanksgiving sure isn't what it used to be.

When I was younger, I remember receiving the inevitable homework assignment to write an essay on "Something I Am Thankful For". Then, I'd spend a lot of time sitting in my room trying to figure out just what in the world that could possibly be, and I'd end up writing down everything I could think of from God to environmental consciousness.

But after having children, my priorities have clearly changed.


Before children: I was thankful to have been born in the United States of America -- the most powerful, free, democracy in the world.
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After children: I am thankful for Velcro tennis shoes. As well as saving valuable time, now I can hear the sound of my son taking off his shoes which gives me three extra seconds to activate the safety locks on the back-seat windows right before he hurls them out of the car and onto the freeway.


Before children: I was thankful for the recycling program that will preserve our natural resources and prevent the overflowing of landfills.
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After children: I am thankful for swim diapers because every time my son wanders into water in plain disposables, he ends up wearing a blimp the size of, say, New Jersey, on his bottom.


Before children: I was thankful for fresh, organic vegetables.
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After children: I am thankful for microwavable macaroni and cheese -- without which my children would be surviving on about three bites of cereal and their own spit.


Before children: I was thankful for the opportunity to obtain a college education and have a higher quality of life than my ancestors.
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After children: I am thankful to finish a complete thought without being interrupted.


Before children: I was thankful for holistic medicine and natural herbs.
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After children: I am thankful for any pediatric cough syrup guaranteed to "cause drowsiness" in young children.


Before children: I was thankful for all of the teachers who had taught, encouraged, and nurtured me throughout my formative years.
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After children: I am thankful for all of the people at Weight Watchers who let me strip down to pantyhose and a strategically placed scarf before getting on the scale each week.


Before children: I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could experience a different way of life in a new culture.
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After children: I am thankful to have time to make it all the way down the driveway to get the mail.


Before children: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian Cookbook.
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After children: I am thankful for the Butterball turkey hotline.


Before children: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.
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After children: I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.


Before children: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture, a nice car, and trendy clothes.
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After children: I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses my good shoes.


Before children: I was thankful for my wonderful family.
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After children: I am thankful for my wonderful family.

[ by Debbie Farmer (familydaze@home.com) -- from 'Heartwarmers' ]