Tooth Fairy Form Letter

Dear ____________:

Thank you for leaving [01] tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:

( ) the tooth could not be found

( ) it was not a human tooth

( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny

( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odour

( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash

( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you

(x) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth fairy

( ) you were age 12 or older at the time your request was received

( ) the tooth is still in your mouth

(x) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit

( ) no nightlight was on at the time of our visit

(x) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or were missing

( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows: [ ] string [ ] pliers [ ] gunpowder [ ] hammer marks [ ] chisel [ ] part of skull attached to tooth [ ] no dental care

( ) other:

Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the following certificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near you.

Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.

Sincerely, The Tooth Fairy

[ Author Unknown -- from 'keepAhead' (support@keepAhead.com) ]